Dreaming...

arabian proverb: "a friend is one to whom one can pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keeping what is worth keeping, and, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. "

I don't dream. Well, what I mean is I do dream at night during sleep but during the day, I don't. It's strange because I am aware of some longings that I could interpret as dreams or hopes. I feel them sort of brewing under the surface but then I close up shop. Squash them down...Even while reading your post Rufus, I started feeling the dread, knowing at some point in that post you would be asking us about our dreams. I love reading about yours. It's so wonderful to witness your life unfold. I am inspired and amazed.

It's almost as though I'm overwhelmed by possibility. The possibility of this or the possibility of that, why choose just one? I have yet to fully embrace the notion that life keeps evolving, my life keeps evolving. If I could really get that, then perhaps I wouldn't be afraid of just picking one. Maybe I could just surrender to picking "this" one right now knowing that it will absolutely change. The change does not always have to be bad or tragic.

I've had so much free time lately on the weekends it's unnerving. I excercise, I watch movies, I water the garden, I meet friends for lunch, I read, I eat, I drink and then the next day I wake up and do it all over again. I realize that I am not present during most of it however, I am very grateful to be doing it and recognize that one day the two entities will connect. The doer and the being-er. (is that a word?) I am hopeful that this slowing down, this open space will become confident enough to start dreaming.

Last night I had some wonderful friends come to visit me. My freind Espi and her amazingly beautiful 80 year old aunt. We sat together in my lovely studio and I listended as she shared wisdom with me about my life's persepctive. She doesn't speak any English so Espi translated her beautiful words. With love and grace she opened her bag of love and created a flower essence for me to place under my tongue several times a day all the while assuring me that this would help me shift my spirit. She talked to me about the miracle of flowers and how they are the true balance of the earth. How flowers are made from earth, sun, water and air and without any expectation live harmoniously in nature.

My life has so many beautiful moments, perhaps I'm dreaming awake?