http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBithokDAzs
Rufus, I'm not sure if this is a good idea to send this to you but I know you will love it....
xo
m
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
on another note...
this weekend i completed my pre-training for gyrotonics. i did 2 weekend sessions, 3 days each, 5 hours a day...
Ruth says : )
I checked out the gyrotonics on Youtube and it looks so cool what you're doing.
You're learning to teach people how to use that equipment and do those good exercises.
so next i move onto the foundation course-3 weekends thurs, fri, sat, sun 7 hour days
then i'll be ready to apprentice and then i can offer training to folks for 60 hours...the process will take me about a year to complete and i'm just slowly taking my time and appreciating my body for it's resilience and courage.
Ruth:
Yeah, the courage, right? I appreciate your courage too. Your commitment belongs to us too and helps make others more brave so congratulations.
we are partners in this my body and i. it's a strange relationship, feels like someone i've been acquainted with for a long time but have never really had a conversation with or bothered to get to know...
also, today we sign closing papers on our house
Ruth:
What is that like? How does that feel? The tile is good in photos and I like that bathroom wall too.
Built in 1924, it kind of looks like that bungalow craftsmen style from the front. Is it?
Your home looks like home. I can't wait to hear more if you're keen to tell.
xoxox
myriam
Ruth says : )
I checked out the gyrotonics on Youtube and it looks so cool what you're doing.
You're learning to teach people how to use that equipment and do those good exercises.
so next i move onto the foundation course-3 weekends thurs, fri, sat, sun 7 hour days
then i'll be ready to apprentice and then i can offer training to folks for 60 hours...the process will take me about a year to complete and i'm just slowly taking my time and appreciating my body for it's resilience and courage.
Ruth:
Yeah, the courage, right? I appreciate your courage too. Your commitment belongs to us too and helps make others more brave so congratulations.
we are partners in this my body and i. it's a strange relationship, feels like someone i've been acquainted with for a long time but have never really had a conversation with or bothered to get to know...
also, today we sign closing papers on our house
Ruth:
What is that like? How does that feel? The tile is good in photos and I like that bathroom wall too.
Built in 1924, it kind of looks like that bungalow craftsmen style from the front. Is it?
Your home looks like home. I can't wait to hear more if you're keen to tell.
xoxox
myriam
colon
i've been thinking a lot about my colon lately, actually obsessing about it. thinking about this little pouch in my stomach that if i understand correctly holds 8 days worth of meals before it passes through my colon? this little pouch which hosts my intestines that if i understand correctly are 5 feet long or is it 5 yards long? this little pouch which reminds me of a story our friend keri-lynne told me about her friend who went to have a colonic and the technician discovered a WORM, a freakin parasite a FOOT long that had been very happily living inside of her, literally sucking the life out of her.
i've been thinking about this because the gas i've been experiencing in the last couple of months is rancid and clearly is indicative of the fact that something evil is living inside of me. also because i have been visiting this temple and in the bookstore area of the space there are books and books and books on eating and raw food and colonics, and how the water we drink has too much fluoride and how the soap we use has too many chemicals and how the food i eat is full of pesticides and cruelty to animals.
i am not overwhelmed by all the information, what does overwhelm me however is that even with all this knowledge, i sit down to eat and do so completely unconsciously. i hear ruth's voice in my head saying eat the greens first, and i do yet, the fries came and she offered me some and the bread pudding came and i tried just a bit. this isn't going to be a long rant about body image and the such, it's more of an observation of how little regard i have of what i know to be true and how i process or better yet, incorporate and integrate information into my life. i have been noticing lately too that i have physical angst around eating now. i start to feel the food breaking down inside of me and sticking to every part of my insides only to be turned into stanky farts. then there is this issue of sugar, suddenly my system is craving sweets, though, i'm not even sure if it's craving as much as habit. always have to do something bad to counter some of the good that i am doing.
the disconnect here is the way in which i'm processing information. i read or learn then when it goes into my brain somehow the default of where the information is stored is in a pain center, a big black bag so to speak and i don't like going into that bag or center so then it just sits and festers into stanky farts and like a cloud of toxic vapor expels from my ass into the air serving as a reminder that no i haven't in fact made any real change.
i'm tired, tired, tired of this conversation friends. i pray for courage, a pray for the spirit to start again, i pray for the belief that every new effort brings me closer to change...
myriam
i've been thinking about this because the gas i've been experiencing in the last couple of months is rancid and clearly is indicative of the fact that something evil is living inside of me. also because i have been visiting this temple and in the bookstore area of the space there are books and books and books on eating and raw food and colonics, and how the water we drink has too much fluoride and how the soap we use has too many chemicals and how the food i eat is full of pesticides and cruelty to animals.
i am not overwhelmed by all the information, what does overwhelm me however is that even with all this knowledge, i sit down to eat and do so completely unconsciously. i hear ruth's voice in my head saying eat the greens first, and i do yet, the fries came and she offered me some and the bread pudding came and i tried just a bit. this isn't going to be a long rant about body image and the such, it's more of an observation of how little regard i have of what i know to be true and how i process or better yet, incorporate and integrate information into my life. i have been noticing lately too that i have physical angst around eating now. i start to feel the food breaking down inside of me and sticking to every part of my insides only to be turned into stanky farts. then there is this issue of sugar, suddenly my system is craving sweets, though, i'm not even sure if it's craving as much as habit. always have to do something bad to counter some of the good that i am doing.
the disconnect here is the way in which i'm processing information. i read or learn then when it goes into my brain somehow the default of where the information is stored is in a pain center, a big black bag so to speak and i don't like going into that bag or center so then it just sits and festers into stanky farts and like a cloud of toxic vapor expels from my ass into the air serving as a reminder that no i haven't in fact made any real change.
i'm tired, tired, tired of this conversation friends. i pray for courage, a pray for the spirit to start again, i pray for the belief that every new effort brings me closer to change...
myriam
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Something's Happening to me Here....
I love and adore you both so much more than words on a blog could say.
I feel a bittersweetness when I look at the photos of the JOY dinner and the growing belly and the new haircut. I am grateful for this technology that allows me to see your faces online...but will never take the place of running my fingers through the new softness of Linda's hair and placing my own head on your tummy to hear the goings on in there.
I would have given anything to have been another moved heart and proud face sitting around the JOY dinner table and listening to you speak of your dreams and intentions to help heal the world.
But still I am grateful for my opportunity here...my growing French vocabulary and the vast amounts of time spent learning more about ego, pain body and my relationship to the present moment.
Last week, we were at the Lavo-matic doing laundry and I caught my reflection in a full length mirror.
It was one of the few times I've seen myself in full length over the course of 9 months.
I look in the mirror each day while washing my face and such but I've not seen my entire body like that but 2 or 3 times. It was strange. I don't even know what to say about it except that
Something is happening to me here through my invisibility.
By invisible, I mean the infrequency with which I actually see my entire self in the mirror...and how infrequently others really see me or know me....like my dear friends at home who SEE me.
Something is happening to me here - possibly I'm changing more than I can even detect and I'm hoping it will be okay.
I love you both and will be happy to see you both again through the eyeball and be seen too.
.......................
I feel a bittersweetness when I look at the photos of the JOY dinner and the growing belly and the new haircut. I am grateful for this technology that allows me to see your faces online...but will never take the place of running my fingers through the new softness of Linda's hair and placing my own head on your tummy to hear the goings on in there.
I would have given anything to have been another moved heart and proud face sitting around the JOY dinner table and listening to you speak of your dreams and intentions to help heal the world.
But still I am grateful for my opportunity here...my growing French vocabulary and the vast amounts of time spent learning more about ego, pain body and my relationship to the present moment.
Last week, we were at the Lavo-matic doing laundry and I caught my reflection in a full length mirror.
It was one of the few times I've seen myself in full length over the course of 9 months.
I look in the mirror each day while washing my face and such but I've not seen my entire body like that but 2 or 3 times. It was strange. I don't even know what to say about it except that
Something is happening to me here through my invisibility.
By invisible, I mean the infrequency with which I actually see my entire self in the mirror...and how infrequently others really see me or know me....like my dear friends at home who SEE me.
Something is happening to me here - possibly I'm changing more than I can even detect and I'm hoping it will be okay.
I love you both and will be happy to see you both again through the eyeball and be seen too.
.......................
it's a JOY-full world
"what makes me something is being with you and being with my family and making soup and eating really good rice and holding my love and laughing and being a good friend and keeping my life really, really simple. what makes me something right now is knowing that i am choosing to nurture and slow down and honor the gifts that come to me and oh baby do they come to me. what makes me something is feeding my soul."
http://www.flickr.com/photos/90027238@N00/sets/72157617564378869/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/90027238@N00/sets/72157617564378869/
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
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