aaaaaaaaaaaah!

thank you, thank you, thank you.

We take weddings too seriously

and we don't take the marriage serious enough.


I'm hoping you're finding solid ground after venting.
I'm hoping you're heart feels us near despite the miles.
I'm hoping you recognize your ego is not you.
I'm also sending you a brand new pair of eyes to look out of your gorgeous head with.

You know, it's natural and it’s okay to worry for a little while.
And then it’s time to stop worrying about the future and practice being present from one moment to the next.

It will all work out, I promise you, if you can do that.
Don’t let your ego rule.

If this note comes to you in the time after you've stepped back into your body, then save it for the next time things go whacked, okay?

You could throw a tantrum about your hair thingie.
Or you could go with a simple large flower if you find the pressure to be too much and your ego takes over and tells you that the hair piece actually means something. It doesn’t.

If you didn’t wear anything in your hair at all and remembered that you’re sharing the celebration of your commitment to Kerry with the people you both love, you'd be a huge success. And really, your love and commitment to one another are nothing new. You’ve been succeeding at your marriage/commitment for over 7 years now. There’s a profound beauty in that simple fact that would outshine any hairpiece you make. So get over it.

Because we take the wedding too seriously and we don't take the marriage seriously enough.

And you will look pretty if you're honest, present and inhabiting your body - regardless of what you say, wear or worry about.

You nor Kerry could ever say the "right thing" compared to all the intimate times he’s held you while you wept, and you he, the countless shared delicious and happy meals, families and friends, Laker games and road trips, honored each other’s requests, helped each other realize dreams, all the while accepting each other’s limitations and still saying “yes” to each day together. I vote for saying nothing, muthafuckas. Your commitment speaks for itself.
Because we take the wedding too seriously and the marriage not seriously enough.

You married each other a long time ago, Myriam. If you need to step outside the moment, go to the successful past instead of some weird idea of wedding success future and perfection. You have been together all this time and want to have a wedding ceremony to celebrate your 7 plus years of love and success. That's the way I see it. Anything beyond now is gravy, lady.

You can worry, but it won’t matter if you do. You’ve already succeeded at your marriage.

Because we take the wedding too seriously and we don’t take the marriage seriously enough.

Love,
Ruth in your heart.
which is pretty fuckin’ close, isn’t it?

i'll give you high quality....

fuck the high quality no, how about the high quality, unconciousness
or how about the high quality, "where the fuck are my friends"
or better yet how about the high quality...
"i am so ................ (insert any negative, mean, callous word you can think of here" or how about the high quality crying i did laying on the florr saturday night because i couldn't figure out how to make the flower thingy for my hair???"

wow, that actually felt better. i think what's happening is i'm having some serious moments of loneliness as we get closer. i think i haven't had the conversations and the blah, blah that i think one should before one marries.
is it possible that i've set too many expectations for myself? okay wait, don't answer that question. i know i set too many expectations for myself. so i'm going to take your advice and use my tools, look within to my resources and see what is going on in here, causing me this suffering.

"i'm worried that i won't look pretty"
i'm worried that my hair will be a messy terrible clusterfuck
i'm worried that kerry won't say the right "thing" to me
i'm worried that kerry isn't taking marriage seriously and that he is jsut marrying me jsut because
i'm worried that people will be disappointed when they come to the pre-dinner
i'm worried that we won't have good pictures
i'm worried that i didn't send invitations to the dinner
i'm worried that i might not say the right thing to kerry
i'm worried about the ceremony
i'm worried about what to say about our parents
i'm worried it won't happen
i'm worried it will
i'm worried that i won't get better at sex or that we'll lose our desire for one another
i'm worried about beng worried, oh yes this is my favorite worry-

"why am i worried, is my worry trying to tell me something, is there something i'm not paying attention to in the worry???"

it's enough to make a girl crazy let alone a girl feeling alone...

i just miss you ladies, although who knows maybe if you were here i would worry that you didn't want to be here.

xo
mjo

smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWlQeuMrIEw