We take weddings too seriously

and we don't take the marriage serious enough.


I'm hoping you're finding solid ground after venting.
I'm hoping you're heart feels us near despite the miles.
I'm hoping you recognize your ego is not you.
I'm also sending you a brand new pair of eyes to look out of your gorgeous head with.

You know, it's natural and it’s okay to worry for a little while.
And then it’s time to stop worrying about the future and practice being present from one moment to the next.

It will all work out, I promise you, if you can do that.
Don’t let your ego rule.

If this note comes to you in the time after you've stepped back into your body, then save it for the next time things go whacked, okay?

You could throw a tantrum about your hair thingie.
Or you could go with a simple large flower if you find the pressure to be too much and your ego takes over and tells you that the hair piece actually means something. It doesn’t.

If you didn’t wear anything in your hair at all and remembered that you’re sharing the celebration of your commitment to Kerry with the people you both love, you'd be a huge success. And really, your love and commitment to one another are nothing new. You’ve been succeeding at your marriage/commitment for over 7 years now. There’s a profound beauty in that simple fact that would outshine any hairpiece you make. So get over it.

Because we take the wedding too seriously and we don't take the marriage seriously enough.

And you will look pretty if you're honest, present and inhabiting your body - regardless of what you say, wear or worry about.

You nor Kerry could ever say the "right thing" compared to all the intimate times he’s held you while you wept, and you he, the countless shared delicious and happy meals, families and friends, Laker games and road trips, honored each other’s requests, helped each other realize dreams, all the while accepting each other’s limitations and still saying “yes” to each day together. I vote for saying nothing, muthafuckas. Your commitment speaks for itself.
Because we take the wedding too seriously and the marriage not seriously enough.

You married each other a long time ago, Myriam. If you need to step outside the moment, go to the successful past instead of some weird idea of wedding success future and perfection. You have been together all this time and want to have a wedding ceremony to celebrate your 7 plus years of love and success. That's the way I see it. Anything beyond now is gravy, lady.

You can worry, but it won’t matter if you do. You’ve already succeeded at your marriage.

Because we take the wedding too seriously and we don’t take the marriage seriously enough.

Love,
Ruth in your heart.
which is pretty fuckin’ close, isn’t it?