"...my heart got stuck on this idea..."
*sweet lovely friend...you're heart didn't get stuck...your head/mind/ego/pain body did...
your heart knows exactly what it needs to do in order to be the best tante/sister/friend/wife/healer/woman/soul train dancer...and that is to let/create floods of joy/love into your own life...
your head/ego/pain body is the predator that preys and won't allow you to forget its existence....and that's okay...just remember it: /ego/pain body NEEDS to feed...and just your awareness..."there it is" will dissolve those thoughts....In the words of our friend Eckhart Tolle - "pain cannot feed on joy, it finds it quite indigestible" : ) but remember how the pain body will hang around, seeming to nap....with one eye open ...waiting for the opportunity to roll in on you and find ways to snack....just acknowledge it and stay STRONG AND STEADY....the light of your awareness will transmute those thoughts so they become neutral...- not necessarily a feeling of deservedness....I think to fight for that feeling is a bit of a riddle...you may not recognize that you feel deserving....when you are living your life...does this make sense?
If you are living your life, minute by minute....making your history after each breath you take, then the ego doesn't have a chance to evaluate who is deserving and who is not...its a moot point...EVERYONE IS DESERVING.....
"....why do i get to have love, why do i get to have kerry, why do i get to have gyrotonics and trips to france and friends, and joy???". this idea stayed with me through the night and into today. this morning i listenened to myself as i came to this realization. "it's not that i GET to have anything, i CHOOSE to have this life and these opportunities...."
**that's damn right, you chose to have a life FULL and FOCUSED ON LOVE AND GOODNESS...you chose to stay focused on what feels good...you do the needed exercises each and everyday...you discipline yourself to focus on the goodness in your life and the life of others...it's not always easy ....but you do that because you CHOSE it...Damn Straight -
*****and because you CHOOSE this life focused on joy and love...As a result, you are letting your light shine...and remember how that gives others the opportunity to allow their light to shine too?? They can see in your life....your life of joy and love is good for them...you have a responsibility to keep that good stuff going...it's your responsibility as a real live angel...that's your job...Ms. Myriam...your job on the planet is to enjoy your life....and that's how you are able to give in the way that you do to the children and the others....stay the course...
"it's clear to me though that this idea of deserving and claiming is where i am having a disconnect."
***this statement is an ego and pain body's way of ganging up on you...you have no disconnect...
***you don't have to feel deserving...that's a trick by the ego...don't let it fool you.
Remember: EVERYONE IS DESERVING. EVERYONE.
You just have to keep living your lovely life and find enjoyment there...you've already "claimed" your life ...or you wouldn't be experiencing the things you're experiencing...don't let your brain take over...don't take those "thoughts" too seriously....it's not serious....
just keep living and stay the course...like you have been...you are a real live angel....a real live angel...
much love,
vagina girl in france
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