Choices

you're right, myriam. you are on to something. stay close to that 'something'. it will become more clear and stronger in your heart until the emotion that is the faint one is that of feeing unworthy of your joy.

all of this, all of what we are, what we do, comes down to choices we make. obviously some things are handed to us. melissa didn't choose to have MS. but how she handles it, how she manages it, and all the other aspects of her life - where she lives, how many babies she has - are a choice. same with your mom. the way she handles this news is a choice. she may not believe she 'knows' any other way, but she could. it's easier to stay where you are used to being emotionally. it's easier for your mom to react this way than to learn other ways she could handle it, despite the fact that it would benefit her, and also everyone else involved, especially melissa.

you are exactly right. you don't GET to have the joy in your life that you do. you CREATE it. and all you can do is be the best YOU and tante and sister and daughter and (future) wife and friend that you can be and that's it.