Eat To Live...

hello, my name is myriam and i'm addicted to sugar
there i said it
okay seriously though,
i've been reading about toxic hunger and
shit
suddenly i'm like the addict coming out of a serious
methanphetamine high, begging my family and friends
to please just give me one more chance,
please, i know i can stop
it's not the suger=sweets per se
it's more like the chips,
cracker-ass crackers, frozen yogurt,
alcohol, the carbs
and, and it's not only sugar
it's eating
i'm addicted to eating,
when you read about listening to when your body is hungry
i have no idea in hell when i'm hungry because at any given moment
i've got a pig's assfoot in my mouth
sucking on every morsel of
fat and grizzle
wow, making the changes is
a commitment
one well worth the effort i know
it's amazing how mixed up
people are about food
since i have decided to
pursue a career in helping
people make educated choices about
food, i figure, it's time i dive in
it's a good excercise
because i realize that the fear and discomfort
i feel
will be the same my clients will have
can i be more compassionate toward myself?
the same way i would be
with a client
i am trying to write more about
my resentment and anger and envy
and all the juicy stuff surrounding food
interestingly enough, i am a bit
pissy that i am dictating what's best
for me
since i usually look outside of myself
for those assurances
especially today when SEESEE
through a fit because we/i chose not to have any
ice cream cake that was actually,
ice cream cake covered in brownies,
chocolate syrup, whipped cream and chocolate chip cookies

lord help us...