hallo -ween

it's october and as you might remember, i live in the halloween capitol of the planet. it was a surprisingly gorgeous fall day today and i spent the majority of it inside. cleaning. yuk. it needed to be done. and i feel much better now that my external life is a little less cluttered. so i take max out for his 2nd walk and the streets are just packed. jammed with adults, children, punk teenagers (and i don't mean that in a bad way), babies, dogs, tons of stands filled with delicious smelling fair type food that gave me a belly ache just thinking about eating it, kiddie rides...you name it. some people, plenty of people were even dressed up in their costumes.

i was enjoying people watching with max, my little observant and contemplative buddy. but i couldn't help but start to think about having my camera with me. why didn't i. why wouldn't i. so so many awesome shots i could've taken to keep as a cool pictorial of my time in salem.

i'm not sure what i'm trying to say. except that this weekend in particular so many times i've wished you two could actually hear my solitary conversation that went on in my head. it's not that i wouldn't share the info with you it's just that i can't get it out fast enough. my mind has been racing a mile a minute lately. i just would love it if you you guys could hear it as it's going so that we can get into a conversation about it. it's not all bad, either. my point is this weekend in particular, was another one of those times when i feeeeel the absence of my good friends.

i convince myself that i'm really just a homebody type of person at heart and i don't mind at all that i don't do much outside of my dave, max and work. and i think that is a true statement. but then i step outside like i did today, at 4:30 in the afternoon and i feel that little bit of me that does enjoy being more social. and i think of what must be an invisible wall of resistance. how that must be there because why else would i keep myself from doing the very things i swear i enjoy and need and want. like photog, running in this beautiful weather, doing yoga, connecting with and spending time near creative people. i don't know why. it's the million dollar question.